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Get it going
Its not how good you are, its how good you want to be. |
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Profile |
Get it going
Its not how good you are, its how good you want to be. |
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Sunday, February 28, 2010
ONE MORE CHANCE. i went to sleep last night, confident that i will not screw up. i woke up this morning with a good feeling that i will actually do well. i went for all comers and realise what i felt wasnt true at all. And i just want you to know that i really tried. Good thing today is that i didnt feel panicky or nervous or stressed at all. all that was on my mind is to whip fast and react fast. and it didnt turn out good at all ): actually, when i was throwing, i thought i was doing okay, but i only realise it wasn't until we were being debriefed and Mr ng said that today we were all very very slow and there was no speed, no rhythm, nothing at all. then it struck me that i didnt throw well at all. Mr Ng looked really angry and i feel like i have let him down ): because he believed in me but all i do is throw lousy throws. Even so, he was nice and explained to us that we have done our part in training and nothing that the others are doing are things that we dont do in school. mr tan was really nice too when he told me that no matter how many throwers im competing against, in the end its just me and the javelin and its up to me to decide how far i want to throw. i felt so bad that i wanted to cry but i remember how mr tan said he dont have respect for athletes who cry after competitions. i feel like a complete loser because ever since Nationals last year, i've been crying after all my competitions. because i know that i can do better and i have done better, but im just not doing it at all and i dont know why. ): throwing means alot to me and its the only thing that i have ever done well in, i really hope i will get back up again soon, back to throwing what i should be throwing. and now im very scared that im going to stay stuck at 20m. I WANT TO GET BACK UP AND THROW FURTHER. I HAVE THROWN FURTHER BEFORE, SO I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT AGAIN. i hope mr ng wont give up on me ): and i really hope i will get into school team, i really worked for this but it seems like things are not good at all ): I need to learn to be mentally strong and i need to believe in myself. i have to and i will. 11:50 AM
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