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Saturday, May 24, 2008
UNDER CONSTRUCTION Blog currently under construction . sorry for the inconvinence caused . 9:19 PM
): . alot of things happened . *sigh . i chionged all my homework today . well, not really all , but most of it . im left with 3 ban yue ji entries and maths paper 2 . cant wait to sleep . somehow, i suddenly feel like dreaming . clouds cheer me up . uh okay , im random . anyway , clouds are nice . i wish i lived in them , and tour around the world on them . wont that be nice ? im gonna change my blog skin . its so dark , so dull , it makes me go down naturally . yea, im going to find a new one . soon . something's weird . i feel so numb today . not the fact that i keep vomitting and stuff . i feel numb inside , in my mind . numb . yea . 7:38 PM
Friday, May 23, 2008
(:(:(: ! Today had been a CRAZY day . I had LOADS of fun (: . & am very proud of myself in the xcountry race . (: even though i din get any position at all . not even top 100 . hehe . i ran with jervenne throughout the whole race (: . although we started from the VERY VERY back , we managed to take over about half of the level . hehe ! :D we passed alot of walking people and am proud of me and jerv for not walking throughout ! :D though we were very tempted xD . after the race , we went to white sands to eat (: . ( Me, Woan Chin , Natalie & Jervenne ) . It was GREAT , FUN & CRAZY day :D it was AWESOME . We went to Macs & crapped a whole deal . Then we went to shop and stuffs . (: (hee) we went to pretty pix and we were like so damn crazy can ! Run around and round for at least half an hour to find the right , suitable one . :D tee hee . We were absolutely crazy ! Today was awesome and wouldn't have been without you people (: . heehee . :D Thank you (: ITS HOLIDAYS !!! 9:02 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
i've been having weird mood swings. somehow , what happenned on monday 1am , really seemed like a dream . if only it was one . i've been happy-ing for these few days . probably because of the holidays . i cant wait to sleep sleep and sleeep for LLLLOOOONNNNGGG hours . cant wait to go jia jun hse and play with him , donavon & chester like siao lar . maybe bball , or monopoly or badminton or anything ! anything with them is FUN FUN FUN :D . its been very long since i went to jiajun's house . ahh . i musta missed a whole lot of fun . but saturday trainings and tuition took up all the time . its okay . im sure i'll have time during holidays . thailand trip drawing even nearer . im kinda nervous , excited or whatever . i dont know. seems weird to leave sg . its true that there's no place like home (: . and OHH . today we had a helluva fun during training . we were celebrating Mr seem's belated birthday . we still had training of cos . it was a fun day (: . sad that some people werent there ! yale , felicia , huda and all . ay , they missed out the fun and laughter . the pres sec 4s gave was funny lar . they let Mr Seem choose which of the 3 pres to unwrap first . there were layers of newspapers with sweets . funny . he got the first two wrong . haha . which contained like sweets and plastic bag ? yea, that was random (: . but it was fun anyway . and may xuen made a story of Mr Seem being the penguin . Like , mr seem was scolding us about our hand and hips while we were throwing . you know , pointing out our mistakes . it was funny . today was a fun day afterall (: Happy belated VESAK day Mr Seem ! uh , i mean birthday(: (He's 27 this year ! *wow* ==) 10:39 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Instructions: Remove one question from below, and add in your personal question. Make it a total of 20 and tag 8 ppl. 1. At what age do you wish to get married? Huh ? No idea . 28 perhaps . 2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? My family to not worry about anything and be happy (: 3. Who is the person you trust the most? Just one ? Rayson . 4. Do you think you have enough confidence? Sometimes . Depends on what it is though . 5. What do you like eating ? Strawberries & Mangoes . (: 6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? Yes but rainbows may appear whenever it feels like appearing . 7. What is your goal for this year? To find a goal to work towards to . 8. What are you wearing now? uh , former sch PE tee . 9. Have you broken someone's heart to the extent that he/she tried to commit sucide? No .. Who'd be so stupid ? == 10. What feeling do you love the most? I dont know . Maybe when others praise me for a work well done . 11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? Not much .. Just dont be mean . (: 12. What feeling do you hate the most? I hate hate hate the feeling of being frustrated , irritated . I go crazy even more easily . 13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours? Yes , but i dont know the right way to express it . 14. Do you believe in God? Huh ? umm .. 15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? People i love and loves me back . Esp my family (: 16. Who cares for you the most? Dont know . 17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words Yale - Ego , crazy (: 18. Who is the person that you care the most? Huh ... I dont know . 19. Would you sacrifice yourself for your loved ones? Obviously . Anyone'd do anything for their loved ones right ? 20. If life was actually a dream, would you want to wake up ? No . (: Tagging : Yale (: Sarah .:D Gerry *waves Irene (: Lisa :) 1M == Yen Yin (: Wenqi ! ^^ 6:50 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
(13th May ) I cant sleep . There's alot of things running through my mind after i read "Incantation" . Even though what i was thinking about was irrelevant to the story , i dont know why somehow after i read the story i kept thinking about so many things . i was real sad for Estrella . The world isnt fair afterall . I dont understand why people do such things to her family . Everyone's dying in the story . Its not really nice to read something like that . It ended without a proper ending . That's what made me angry . But still , I wanted to cry when i was reading but didnt dared to . I dont know , something's making me hold back my tears . It was about 12 when i finished reading the whole book . I still cant sleep . Im sort of feeling alot of emotions in me then. I cried afterall . I think that was about 1pm or something . Even after that , i still cant sleep . Even when i feel tired , somehow , when i closed my eyes , i still cant fall asleep . I went to turn on the TV . (That was stupid) I watched and got angry suddenly . Perhaps by what the people did in the show . I switched it off . I dozed off . (14th May ) I dread to wake up . I dreamed a helluva dream . I cant remember what happened . I only know i dreamed of something . Maybe , people dying if im not wrong . Went to school today . Somehow , everyone's angry with me . Mr Seem , Ms Wong , Mdm Tan , Ting Yi .I dont know but i felt this way . I felt guilty . The dental appt comes with an MC when i extracted my teeth . Its alright right ? I dont know . I still feel bad . I feel lifeless today . I felt like crying . Something's making me hold back . But i dont know what it is . I thought i was going to die very soon 'cos everyone's dying . (though this doesnt makes sense at all) I went to continue reading Tuesdays with Morrie . Morrie's dying . And now he's dead. I almost cried , but did not afterall . Tears were there , but they din come out . Somehow , everyone's dying . When Mrs Gay came in for Science , she told us stories instead of starting lessons . And again , i dont know why , she's talked about dying again . It was really depressing . When i think about death , i get scared . Im afraid that im going to die someday and i havent dont what i wanted to do . And im afraid that if someone dies before i do, i dont know what to do . Death is so depressing. Im impressed by how Morrie looked at Death and accepted it so easily . 2:12 PM
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
(yesterday) went to jumps training today . tired . i have another dental appointment tomorrow to extract my teeth . i have a feeling im gonna die . (today) i feel so dead today . somehow , i have a bad feeling something bad was gonna happen . i dont know . i think im gonna die . maybe i really am going to die . extracted another two teeth on my left side . din hurt but it hurt aterall . real bloody . sms-ed natalie to find out about today . she said there were 3 free periods if im not wrong . yea . and no h/w for today . i was doing h/w , playing virtua tennis 3 the whole afternoon . jervenne sms-ed me in the evening . she said im dead . so maybe my bad feeling was right afterall . 'cos im dead . as jerv had said . she said mr seem say 3 days mc and not going for training , out of throws / team / thailand trip . and i think he means me . and yes, jerv told me about him saying im always not there for training . yea , he's gonna kill me . or maybe i'll be dead even before he kills me . i need someone to talk to . but everyone's ignoring me on msn . perhaps im suppose to die a lonely death . ): 8:05 PM
Sunday, May 11, 2008
i dont feel happy anymore ): i miss happy-ing . ): -sigh . " Happy Mothers' Day " to all mothers out there . hope you all had a special day . im feel that im getting slower and slower each week . or isit they that are getting faster ? the fastest i can go is 2min 24s . thats . slow . if not , i'll get 2min 30 sec + . thats even slower . ): i have nothing more to say . bbye . *vanessa was happy-ing . 8:39 PM
Saturday, May 10, 2008
gaga , haha . today has been quite a happy day for no reason . hah . crazy haha girl . i was late for training again . ): lol , im always late for saturday training . ): somehow , my stomache likes to strike on saturday mornings . it did today , again , but its just a little . and it wasnt why i was late . its not me that caused me to be late . that's what i should say . anyway , training today was kinda a little funny . we did conditioning & some volley ball drill . hah , fun . seniors so funny lol ! yale , pryanka , meixuan , felicia and may xuen . haha . but so sad ! ashwarya and sam dont need to go for sat training anymore . ): i'll miss them ): although there was alot of waiting today , im still happy . somehow , i spent quite alot of time with dad (: ahh , the xia mian so nice . LOL ! >.< happy day . happy day . (: Hope the happiness lasts (: 8:41 PM
Friday, May 9, 2008
lol . im in the haha-ing mood today . although im gonna die very soon . geez . even rayson calls me haha girl now . LOL ! anyway , talking to rayson is so fun >.< . he so funny can (: and i think his friends dont really know him yet thats why they think him of the other way . but rayson , dont give up ! :D jiayou ! someday, you'll find someone who understands and share the same jokes as you do (: jiayou ! :D haha . and aikel ! dont be discouraged kay ! im sure your mother will understand one day ! try try and try jkay ! never never give up :D if you need any help , you know we will always be there . since you said raphael can do the impossible , so can you ! :D jiayou yea ! hope you can keep your hamster ! :D Huijun meimei ! dont be upset okay! jie's always here for you . dont worry so much . relax a little and jiayou kay ! you know jie is always here to lend a helping hand and a listening ear ! dont give up ! jiayou ! :D haha . i sound like some counsellor . LOL ! i encourage people so easily yet i get discouraged so easily . as the saying goes , " its easier said than done" but i believe that once a mind is set , firmly set , everything can be done . (: hah ! check out daphne's videos . they are so random . and each line has no link to the other . but its funny . haha . Daphne (: 10:28 PM
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
PAIN ! pain pain pain pain ! god . i din go to school today . hey wait , im not playing truancy kay . i had a dental appointment you see .. ): today Dr Lim added rubber bands in between my teeth to get them "ready" for next week's braces . wahh .. pain pain pain .! then when i go to some Dr Shok ? dont know . he extracted my teeth ): very pain . of cos dont just pull like that lar . he inject inject inject all over the place leh . then the liquid so bitter ): he said i wont feel pain when he pull them . i will only feel pressure . crap ): . i still hurt afterall . i intended to go for training today but doctor din allow me to do so . he insisted " No vigorous exercises " . gah . miss another training again . Mr seem's gonna be so mad. as in mad ; angry , not mad;crazy . which means, i have to miss training next tuesday as well . omg . then he's gonna be mad;angry + mad;crazy . and yea , i cut my hair ! :D gah . if only i dont wear specs . it makes me look ugly in this new hair of mine ): sad . check it out tomorrow . (: bet u'd say it sucks . *sigh . 6:03 PM
Monday, May 5, 2008
i need something to cheer me up . maybe food .. ice cream ? chocolate ? candy ? im indulging food nowadays . perhaps too much . i think im putting on weight . wait . i am putting on weight . lol . ice cream dont seem to help . neither does coke floats . i need something to make me go high . high up . somewhere near the clouds would be nice . i think im going crazy . im restricting myself from so many things . eating , drinking , going out , spending money . the make sense actually . yea , they actually do . im just trying to save up some money . i got a whole list of things i need to buy . so im not crazy afterall ! lol . somebody . tell me why im afraid of *her . tell me why . somehow , everytime i see her , i feel so scared that something's gonna happen . people say time heal all wounds. i dont think so . i think what time does is to seal it up . it may seem to be gone but a scar still remains . and sometimes , they bring back unpleasant memories which may hurt afterall . hey you know what , jervenne rocks a whole lot . lol ! lemme show you bits and pieces of what she randomly drew for me today .  just if you cant see the words if they're too blury , this is what she wrote . "Hello !! Vanessa ! Love You ! Muack ! Its your last day on Earth today" (in a bubble) with a robot pig at the side (: .  this is some speech made by an ant (: " Yo !! Ward A ! i'm an ant ! i heard you talking about me walking on a (picture of hand) ! I hope it wasnt pain .. "  ohh . i love this (: . its actually the patch of grass w/ many holes where we throw the shot put. " wee arb the glass wib holes. wee izint educated. bud we holes berry big. u nose itt eez berry pain? u throw tee short poot deb poke us. bud you is yuan liang(forgiven) already .bye bye . Lobe you :D + you eez nice :D " lol . that did made me smile . 4:47 PM
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg . i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do ! gah . im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die . yes . that's what gonna happen to me . time pass kuai dian . i cant stand another 14 working days . i cant wait for holidays to come . i cant wait. i cant wait for the click five's concert . i cant i cant i cant ! gah . ): 4:10 PM
Sunday, May 4, 2008
omgomgomg . it'd been sosososo HOT these days and im really fed up about it . gah . why cant it RAIN . stupid weather .. gah . 15 more working days and it'd be school holidays . i cant wait to stay at home and not go to school . im counting down (: . HEY WAIT . i think i just saw lightning and heard thunder . OMGOMG. i think its going to rain . OMG . this is soso awesome . thank god (: . im like feeling soso lazy today . dont even bother to do anything . == . i skipped like what ? 8 laps during swimming today . lol . nice teacher (: he din realise . lol . somehow, im addicted to virtua tennis 3 . the game , that is . chester's getting real fed up with my keep borrowing his psp . lol . not my fault . i dont have one . i've been playing vt3 the whole day . lol . i think its time to stop . gah . total bored-ness . and ya know what ? braxton thinks my posts show that im suicidal lol ! omg . maybe i am . nay . im not so depressed . gotta go continue my game now . bye (: * the game's cheering me up . haha . 9:56 PM
lollollol . i cant seem to do anything right . i dont know whats wrong with me lol . my throwing sucks a whole lot. i just wish everything to be Normal thats all i ask for .2:43 PM
Saturday, May 3, 2008
sian . sianing . sianed . i hate everything . lol . i hate myself for everything . (: EVERYTHING . one of them is my being so useless , of no help to so many things . or maybe everything. im always making things worse for everything , everyone . i dont know what it is im trying to get . what i want . i dont know . i seem to have everything needed already but i dont feel anything . it seems empty . something's just missing . all i know is im totally sianed & its killing me . although i do feel happy at times but they never seem to last for long . i hate myself for every single thing . i hate myself for existing . by the way , my computer's fine now . the one that broke down months ago. yea , so at least it'd be easier to do work now . 9:35 PM
Thursday, May 1, 2008
gah , i feel sian-ed ? i dont know whats the word to use but whatever.. i felt like this since music . gah .. i hate it when people force me to say why i look sad and all . when i say i dont know, they assume that im hiding something . i just dont know why im like this okay ?! gah . Ms wong told me im going thailand .. somehow, i dont feel . happy or excited or whatever feeling that im suppose to feel. i feel guilty , sad . i feel like im making other people disappointed. like Nicole , Wenqi , Jervenne , Aishwarya and Yenyin .. i know they really want to go but they cant go and yet i get to . i feel like im hurting them . especially Jervenne. i know she's real upset that she din get to go and i feel like im making it worse for her. gah , i so hate myself .. 12:02 AM
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