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Get it going
Its not how good you are, its how good you want to be. |
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Monday, November 17, 2008
i hate feeling so dumb , so useless . so dumb , dumb , dumb . i hate being told im dumb . i hate being told im a loser . who doesnt anyway . but i just cant accept the fact that i really am . that i really actually suck . no matter how hard i try . i was really happy today . take note : WAS . i bought like 7 books all at once today . im super happy . Dan Brown + Albom Mitch = happiness . well , for then , at least . i dont know why mummy was feeling so generous today . she said , okay lor , buy . i was like , WOW . and started picking out my books with donavon . and hell was donavon friendly today . he was being really nice . (: he's hardly been so nice to me for all my life , say 13 years ? yes . that long . well , i guess today's a nice day . we were book-shopping together (: . he dont do that usually . he just plays his psp with/without chester all the time . happy day altogether till i got home . i went to tell her how happy i am to get to buy all 7 of my fav books at once . she got all angry and said i wasted my money . i should've setted my priorities right . like to buy my SCHOOLbooks . i went like , "huh!" (in my head , that is) hell were my feelings hurt . Like , HELLO , i paid mostly for my school books okay . my OWN money . i earned it with my results . im not using your money , so why are you like this ! i would've been able to pay the full amount if i havent gave Chester my 20bucks . even so , i wouldnt be asking money from HER . whats her problem . she left me sulking for the whole night . i am still , btw . she spoilt my day . she's in a bad mood , doesnt mean i have to be her victim . i hate it when she's like that . im trying so hard , but thats how she's treating me . if she ever sees this , she'll start saying im UNGRATEFUL . i am not . i just dont like the way she treat and talk to me sometimes . she's in a way , being ungrateful to what im doing when she talks to me like that . WHATEVER . she's an elder . i have to give in . fine , whatever . go ahead , scold me . damn . huh . now mum and dad's angry as well . because i cant FIND my camera . the thing is , i dont know if i lost it . or is it that i left it somewhere in the house i dont know . I DONT KNOW . and cos its the best cam that we've have in the household , they say i MUST find it back , by hook or by crook . huh , double trouble . i hate being so stupid . stupid . stupid stupid . just kill me , someone . i've had enough . im tired , tired of waiting for you . 12:11 AM
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